Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Aye! Shutyerfackn' gobs!

Faceless with a 12 pack recently tried a Guinness Extra Stout that was bottled in Ireland. He found a significant difference between the Dublin version and the US version.

The Guinness website didn't list where their US breweries are located, but I did find some other interesting facts. Their parent company is the British multi-national Diageo. The largest distributor of premium spirits in the world.

Diageo? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Namely, what in bloody hell kind of British name is that? It's a concocted marketing name of course. Diageo was formed in 1997, following the merger of GrandMet and Guinness, and is headquartered in London. Sayeth Diageo:

The word Diageo comes from the Latin for day (dia) and the Greek for world (geo). We take this to mean every day, everywhere, people celebrate with our brands.

How do you pronounce Diageo? I couldn't find a definitive source, but I cobbled together Merriam-Webster's pronunciations for Dijon and Diogenes and came up with this:

\dē-ˈäzh-ē-ō\

Think Bellagio and replace the "Bell" with "Di"

Turns out they own a few other brands you may have heard of:




I would guess that some citizens of Ireland might consider the merger Satan's spawn, considering some of the "brilliant" ideas birthed from the bowels of this conglomerate.



For instance, the brewery that's been producing Guinness continuously for 250 years, the St James Gate plant in Dublin? Yea, well........





























Goodbye city life!













And you know how Guinness is all dark and full bodied and all chocolatey with roasted malts? Well, what about all those people watching their weight? Maybe they would like a Guinness Lite?

I can hear them in Limerick now, "Tastes GREAT!", "Less F-" "Aye! Shut yer fackn' gobs!"

At Magnum Forums, rrjc5488's
opinion about budricer would apply equally well here:

"How much do you pay for it? I ask only because I can urinate in a bottle and pour some rubbing alcohol in there and sell it to you for half of what you're already paying."



Then there's John Zaccarini, who was involved in a WPO Domain Name dispute with Diageo, over the domain name, "guinnes.com" Yes, Mr. Zaccarini is an e-jacker, but it is humorous to see the following in the middle of a boring piece of legalese,

On July 17, 2000, the Center received an amendment to the original complaint by the Complainant requesting the addition of the following eleven (11) domain names to the original complaint:

"guinness-really-sucks.com", guinness-really-really-sucks.com"; guinness-beer-really-sucks.com; guinness-beer-really-really-sucks.com; guinness-sucks.com; "guinnessreallysucks.com"; "guinnessreallyreallysucks.com"; "guinnessbeerreallysucks.com"; guinnessbeerreallyreallysucks.com"; "guinness-beer-sucks.com"; guinnessbeersucks.com".


I really don't think Faceless was drinking Guinness Lite, I'm just sayin...

1 comment:

Howling Lion said...

No, sir. I guarantee it wasn't a Guinness Lite. It would have made Lite beer lovers moan and groan about how bitter it is and how it tastes like dirt. All of the qualities that we Guinness lovers love.

I actually consider the Guinness Draught a light version of the extra stout.