Saturday, February 12, 2011

I'm Not Jealous

Dear Boulevard Chocolate Ale Consuming Cocksuckers,

Due to a series of unfortunate events (furnace went out), I lost track of the fact that 2.8.2011 was the release day for the Boulevard Chocolate Ale. By the time I realized my oversight on 2/9, it was really too late. Of course you Cocksuckers are keenly aware of this fact.

I called around anyway and was told a certain Hy-Vee was getting a delivery on 2/11. On Friday I called the Hy-Vee and confirmed they had it and planned to begin selling it at 1:00, but over 100 people lined up at 11:00 AM. They already sold the entire stock to the first 41 Cocksuckers.

Some of you Cocksuckers said that Central States website/Facebook had info about who had it on tap. O'Dowd's in Zona Rosa, some Cocksuckers said. So on the evening of 2/12 I called O'Dowd's and the pleasant little hostess laughed and said I was the fifth call they had received about BCA. Of course, you Cocksuckers had already drained their kegs.

I am a big fan of the long ago discontinued HBO series Deadwood. I had it on my Amazon wishlist. When Amazon sent me an e-mail last week with a one time offer of the complete Deadwood series on DVD for 50% off, I bought it. Did any of you Cocksuckers get the complete Deadwood series for 50% off? I didn't think so.

Minksy's Pizza has a great Italian steak sandwich with fries for $6.29. They also carry a very hard to find Vatted Scotch: Sheep Dip. I went there and ordered the sandwich to go and while I waited, I had a Smithwick's along with a shot of Sheep Dip, something I like to call, I'm not Jealous, you Cocksuckers.

As I write this, I have finished the sandwich, which I washed down with a Sam Adams Noble Pils. After I publish this post, I am going to open a bottle of Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA, which will leave my stock at two 12 oz bottles. If any of you Cocksuckers want to trade, send me an e-mail.


Chimpotle said...

I've got a bottle for you if you're still looking.

Muddy Mo said...

You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman.

I am ready to negotiate via e-mail, but you should know up front, I draw the line at acts of bestiality.